I was a mess, and I did not know what was causing it. I am usually a mild-mannered, soft-spoken man who controls his emotions. Then seemingly out of the blue I changed. I would be in a management meeting with the owners of the business where I was the Chief Operating Officer, and one of the owners would make a derogatory comment or disagree with a decision I had made. Normally, I would state my opinion, or make a case as to why I made my decision. The first day it happened, I was half way to my office before I realized what I had done. When the owner made his comment, I shouted some unkind words and fled the boardroom, slamming the door behind me as I went. As I said, I was half way to my office when I thought: what did I just do, and who was that person who said those things? Under pressure, it is possible for anyone to “snap” once or twice; however, after a while, this incident became a way of life.
One day at home, I did the same thing again. My wife said to me lovingly, but firmly “Honey, you need some help.” I did not like hearing it, but I had to agree. I ended up going to the man who had given us some pre-marital counseling, and told him what was going on. After a short while, he stopped me, and proceeded to tell me the rest of the symptoms that I had before I had told him about them. I had Dysthymia, he said – a form of depression in which the “emotional shock absorber” is basically broken. That is why I would have these sudden outbursts without warning. I would be feeling fine, but there was no room for anything bad – even something as benign as a difference of opinion. The result: I ended up going on anti-depression medication.
In May of 2008, my wife and I started consuming healthy chocolate. My mood was more consistently positive, I started sleeping better and I had more energy. I have not taken any antidepression medication since I started eating healthy chocolate throughout the day, which has been almost four years now.
A friend of mine once said, “Life is meant to be enjoyed not endured!” Thanks to healthy chocolate, I am back to enjoying life again no matter what negative comment or situation comes my way.